Lost in a Freaky Financial Timewarp

Today I was taken back in time, to an era somewhere between the 50's and 70's. The experience was an odd mix of elements: time slowed to a crawl; there was little technology; and people seemed, well, less sophisticated. Those on the services side of the windows were chatty (with each other, mostly), while those of us waiting were largely silent. The room was filled with little Post-Its taped to the walls reading "No Food, No Drinks", and there was a larger sign that said, "Tell the guard if it's been 15 minutes past your scheduled appointment". There was a near void of color -- just a bizarre palette of moldy yellow walls, gray frayed carpeting and cheap burgundy chairs, all of which well represented the lack of energy in the place.

Want to guess where I might have been? On the set of the sequel to Napoleon Dynamite? (No, but close! There was someone in there who looked like Uncle Rio.) In line for visitation at a prison? (Nope, they have food in prisons.) The DMV? Ha! Almost, but worse.

The environment I describe is an official satellite office of the government agency that's supposedly overseeing your "retirement" funding, the Social Security Administration. Yep! Good ole Uncle Sam's "financial advisory" services. (I have proof since I snapped some photos while the guard wasn't looking!)

Why would the LMF4HMW blogger would be in the SSA in the first place, you ask??! And why am I ranting about it? Turns out that when you get married, the USG's gift to the blushing bride is the opportunity to wait in line at several agencies -- the USPS, the DMV, and the SSA, in order to use her married name.

It dawned on me during my last hour of the day spent in a line that even more frightening than the inefficiency we all encounter at these bureaus is the fact that this one, the SSA, is tasked with swiping a significant sum of money out of your paycheck to ensure that you're saving for retirement "responsibly". Yet the minute one of its customers walks into an office with 20 people waiting, two of the five service windows close. (It's lunchtime, you know.)

I don't know about you, but I don't want my financial advisory shutting down shop just because someone needs a sandwich. I'm not an activist type, so I won't use the rest of the post to encourage you to vote for small government candidates and anyone with a platform including privitizing the SSA. (If you don't think I'm right, you should book a field trip there before disagreeing with me. Hell, I had it good -- I live in a smaller city, nothing like the horror of a big city government office!) I will, however, remind you that you are in fact the person responsible for saving for your retirement. Even if you do one day receive what you've "put away" with the SSA (i.e., what they've taken without your right to refuse -- I believe some might call that stealing), it most certainly won't be enough.

This is actually good news because you are in control of the majority of your retirement savings via your investment accounts and 401(k) plan(s). You have choice as to in what to invest, how much to allocate, etc. And you can even do most of your financial and operational transactions online (without taking a number and listening to someone gripe about needing the money to pay rent)! So take some vows of your own on Monday -- to put away more, as much as you can, and if you haven't begun contributing, by all means, to do so! Otherwise, short of a trust fund, you'll be the woman crying at the counter to the SSA officer about needing money to pay her cable bill.